We are living through a time of unprecedented anxiety and uncertainty. For those of us who struggle with anxiety even in more normal times, the current state of the world can feel overwhelming and paralyzing. Many of us are searching desperately for some measure of control because we want this agonizing feeling to go away. But sometimes we can’t change the world around us. Though we may be powerless to end a global pandemic or a war in Europe, we are not powerless when it comes to dealing with our own anxiety. There are tools we can use to help us manage our feelings of fear and depletion.
One place we can start is simply pausing for a moment to name how we are feeling. It may seem simple, but managing our emotions begins with noticing and naming them, especially if we can label the feeling with a gentle internal tone rather than a harsh one. Once we pause and gently name the anxiety, then we can remind ourselves that being anxious is part of being human. We are not overwhelmed and apprehensive because there is something wrong with us. In fact, we are feeling exactly the way our bodies are designed to feel when there is danger or uncertainty. What a difference it would make if we all blamed ourselves a little less and cared for ourselves instead.
When a child has a cold or flu, we wish we could make them better, but we recognize it is out of our hands. Instead, we make the child soup or rub their back or read them stories. We do these things not to heal them, but to offer them comfort and love as their body heals itself. One of the key questions of self-compassion is: can I offer myself that same kind of care when I am suffering? Can I be good to myself even if doing so doesn’t make things better? We may not be able to make anxiety go away, but we can offer ourselves kindness and support while we feel it.
When I am feeling anxiety or any painful emotion, I get back to the basics – grounding myself with routines of self-care. I have a list on a small whiteboard in my office that includes all the things that help me feel cared for and comforted. It is a challenge to make space for these things but one that I am always working on with gentleness and baby steps. Here is a sample: Take a walk, notice beauty in nature, call a friend, listen to a guided meditation, dance it out, do something creative. What are the ways you can offer yourself “soup” in the midst of these anxious times? I hope you too will make a list of the care you need and take a baby step of offering yourself something on the list.
Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash
