Research has shown that 20% of the population has a higher physiological sensitivity to emotions. These folks, me included, experience emotions more intensely and for a longer duration than the 80 percenters. Clients who have this trait are able to pick up on subtle emotional stimuli in their environment. For example, a client will tell me she can walk into a room and pick up on her father’s frustration, her sister’s anxiety or her mother’s excitement.
There are many wonderful aspects of a 20 percenter. 20 percenters can be loving and loyal friends and partners, they are empathetic listeners and they often have a strong connection with animals and children. Their sensitivity can be their superpower but in a culture that doesn’t value this trait, there can also be some drawbacks.
When twenty percenters come into therapy, they often have a view of themselves as deficient or less than. They have been repeatedly told they are too sensitive, too needy or making too big a deal out of something. This experience of chronic invalidation can lead them to believe that their emotional responses are wrong or bad. Often parents and friends are not even aware that they are invalidating the emotions of the 20 percenters in their lives.
